Balloonface on the Atlantic.

Into another dimension / realm / blog!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:36:46 GMT

So I really haven't been to this journal in many a month, but by random happenstance, I was perusing my archives and reminiscing. With this accomplishment, it occurred to me that I might want to direct anyone who stumbles here to the username I actually use now (almost quite regularly!). The posts aren't as thought-out as this...at least, they haven't been. But I do find that I miss my old blogging style, and I'll probably be dipping back into it over at my other blog (with my silly, whimsical blurb-posts in between).

Cheerio, then.

maybelaterlouis </span>

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(I'll be taking some of these nice icons with me, too, then.)

Louis is a happy tool.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 17:49:08 GMT

Once more, I've completely slacked off on my loyalty to this blog. I'm glad I have it here, though. It's like having a comfy cozy room with hot chocolate waiting on the table and blankets and pillows to come back to when I'm off traversing the world's treacherous wonders. In other words, I suppose I have a considerable deal to share today.

Before all else, happy new year, I think. I do owe that and Christmas for this eventful vacation. I really do love not going to school, and I'm discouraged that I only have today and tomorrow before the work and responsibility and the deadlines are lumped back on my shoulders. Midyear exams are coming up, and I know I'm doomed; I meant to catch up in chemistry over break, but please. Who was I kidding.

But you're asking, "Oh Louis darling, if you weren't memorizing polyatomic ions all week, what ever in heaven's name were you up to that kept you so preoccupied?" I'm getting to that. I've already spent my rant on Maggie, so I won't bore my nonexistent audience with all the intricacies, but the long and short of it is that my pseudo love life decided to click its heels together and drive a stiletto up my ass. Still teetering on the chain link fence that separates elation from terror, but let's start somewhere around a legitimate beginning.

I joined a rather questionable social networking site to stalk my friend as he stalked a thirteen-year-old like only a master pedophile can. ...Yeah, okay, okay, it was VampireFreaks, which gives me shits and giggles whenever I think of it. I made a profile and it's deliciously drab, though a respectable number of attractive females immediately gave me ratings and comments and nice things. That was cool. Stuff happened and a mysterious boy found my profile through the aforementioned friend's. And not-so-sorry for the ambiguity, but one thing led to another and we started texting each other. I probably blew my 200-message plan on the first night, and it's been a couple of weeks since then. He was ridiculously sweet, ludicrously sweet, and I found it a welcome excitement to spruce things up during the awkwardness that is my social transition. After a not-very-lengthy-amount-of-time-at-all, he asked me if I would like to have him as my boyfriend, and I thought, "Sure, why not." Insert lols. I think I really became legitimately interested when I confessed to him that I'm transsexual, and he told me it didn't matter to him. Well, I couldn't date anyone I'd known before I started transitioning, in my head-- regardless of how wonderful they are, I know that I'm early enough in my transition that people will be thinking of me for awhile as the Girl Who Thinks She's A Guy. And really, this guy is unbelievably sweet, so I leaned into the idea more and more that maybe this could work out. He lives about a half an hour away from me, sooo...sounds good.

I'm far too lazy to give attention to any sort of detail at this point. So I'll just summarize! Montage time. :]

We met up. Sparkles and happiness and cuddles ensued. My friends liked him. We met up again a few days later. He made out and exchanged blowjobs with one of my best friends in an elevator. He gave me my first kiss about two hours later after swearing I could trust him when I asked if he had fooled around that day (because, like I said, I won't give details, but I kind of saw it coming). I found out about the cheatery the next day. Crying happened on all sides. ...I took him back with the condition that he would not lie to me again, and I felt like a bit of a tool doing it, but I did care for him quite a bit. He had an epiphany and it sounds like shit when I graze over everything like this, but the end product was me believing him when he said "I love you." We hung out the next day and made out in a movie theater, then went out into the fuckingfreezingcold and made out some more. End montage.

I don't know. I'll admit, I've really fallen for him in spite of everything...and though I don't trust him as much as I wish I could, I want us to be able to get there. It's still very early on and there's lots of time for shit to happen, but I know I can trust myself to break off if he pulls anymore douchebaggery.

...Don't ask about the friend. I think I'll be a little more forgiving when I next see him in person, since I forgot to slap my boyfriend too. But I don't know. I'm just going to give this time and see where it goes. I'm strong enough to pick myself back up if I get fucked over again, but I just don't want to deal with that kind of immeasurable disappointment whilie I'm doing this transition thing. I love the support I get from my guy and I don't want to lose that right now either, though. Even though he knows I'm trans, he doesn't bring it up. I'm just the guy he says he's in love with when I'm with him. And I'm not naive, I don't think this is "TRUELOVE 4EVAH!" or whatever, but I do love him and I want to be with him for awhile.

All that probably makes both of us sound like major douchebag, class-A fuck-ups. Good job, Louis, pat on the back. And meanwhile, my parents know nothing of this except that I went on a date with him the other night. Also, he doesn't want his mom to find out that we're going out, so I'm just his trans friend a few towns over who he likes to frequently hang out with. Alone. Lol.

In other news, I might be seeing him again tomorrow, Misfortune is actually going to get done in time for February break (yay Dan!), my grandma's here, and I'm hanging out with friends for the remainder of vacation.

Yay?

- Louis

Swinging out of the Transman Closet on a Tarzan vine.

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 05:42:03 GMT

I've gotta say, I'm feeling fricking fine today. The chorus concert was surprisingly awesome; I nailed my part in Messiah, to my surprise, and was the winner of some fangirl cheers plus an awkward Pound-It Fist from Mr. Young. ANDANDAND, my new method of binding stayed on all night without deconstructing my ribcage. It still involves ACE bandages (slap me, please), but it also involves a shitload of (discreet) safety pins to keep it in the right place and...not...killing me? I don't know. It's kind of my dirty secret right now, until I can make/purchase a better binder. Woot.

In not-so-unrelated-news, a friend who'd been slightly uncertain how to handle my coming out has patched things up between us. Which indirectly brought about a really hot guy friending me, orz. I also semi-came-out on Facebook to. Like. The three people who look at my status comments. That was also warm and fluffy. I'm really glad I haven't had to face anything particularly hurtful yet. My school has a lot of great people-- I can only think of a couple of haters, and they're worthless freshmen, anyways-- most of whome I get along with pretty amiably. I'm not the most popular kid in school, but I'm not unpopular with the kids in my classes. And while I'm not exactly dancing up and down the school hallways, announcing to teachers and students that I'M A FUCKING GUY, WHOO!...(yet)...I am glad that I have a lot of support from friends if I do face discomfort and uneducated folks. It probably helps that I'm pretty close with our school's adjustment counselor, who not-so-coincidentally supervises our GSA. He's probably the first adult I'll go to if a problem comes up.

Sooo, yes. There was probably something else I wanted to say-- perhaps along the lines of "WII FIT IS AMAZING AND HILARIOUS AND AMAZING"-- but there's nothing that needs to be said immediately. Uhh...Quidditch tomorrow, plus hanging out (and possibly taking pictures with?!) Maggie and Tony. I'm just in way too damn good of a mood right now.

- Louis

And Afterwards, the Beginning.

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 04:30:16 GMT

Okay. I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been busy! Sort of. Off the bat, I guess a "happy Thanksgiving" is in order. I hope everyone feasted on something delicious yesterday, and finished off most of the leftovers today. Anything left can be sandwiched into a coldcut.

Thanksgiving was also a bit of a midteen crisis for me. I don't know what happened. I went into the bathroom around 11:00, and when I came out again at least an hour later, I'd removed...quite a bit of hair from my head. I've updated the picture in my userinfo accordingly. It will probably look like this for a long time to come.

I've also come to realized some pretty important things that I hadn't really considered previously. Other changes in my profile may leave a clue, though I doubt that anyone's been keeping up with that. Ah well! :] This revelation has, however, arrived with a bizarre sense of empowerment. Unfortunately, this does not extend to telling anybody what it is. I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but it will probably boil over and spill out sooner or later. Sooner than later, rather-- on LJ, at least. Isn't it strange that I would rather divulge my secrets to an imaginary audience on LJ than to the friends and family I see every day? I suppose not. I mean, I do have to see them every day, and suffer the consequences of telling...whereas if anyone does happen to stumble across it here, we can contentedly ignore each other without any aftereffects. I wish it were that easy with the people I know. Not that I don't hang out with the perfect crowd for it; I'm proud to call myself apart of a very accepting circle of friends. But personally, emotionally, I am not quite ready to let it slip out. Only one person aside from myself is currently in the know, and I intend for it to stay that way for awhile.

Well, nothing earth-shattering to report. The upcoming holiday season will be rather busy, though, I suspect...so until vacation, posts will continue to be few and far between. (But I must say, it's come up so quickly! I still feel as if school just started, yet it's almost second semester....)

Mister No-Fancy-Crap.

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:43:09 GMT

FINALLY. FINALLY. Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility belongs to meeeee. The American release date kept getting bumped back and reshuffled and bent over, and I already talked about my mall rat adventures, so I won't repeat my previous trip to the videogame shop.

BUT. YES. Gwendol and I went to Panera's today for lunch (half day, whoo!), which made me remember that Tranquility was finally (supposed to be) released today, so we went into GameStop and chatted it up with the lovely employees. (GS employees are always so nice. I like that.) Also found out that...they actually have strategy guides for Harvest Moon? What? Why? Hmm.

In other neeews, Shy Child. Listen to them, they are goodly good for just keytar and drums. I've also been listening to quite a bit of Lifehouse lately (and Missing Persons' "Walking In LA", but I try not to talk about that in polite company). AND my friend got us tickets for the Nine Inch Nails concert in November! Gahh, so excited! I will have something to look forward to after Halloween, yay. ° u °

Bee-tee-dubbs, pimpage time! Please use your magical clicking abilities and direct yourself to Zebbie's With Intent. Gay mystery super-hero suspense, and definitely not what you're expecting. It's a fast-paced twenty-one chapters, so I'm not asking you to stock up on comfort food and retreat to your basement. Just...curl up with a blanket and some soup after school, and read. I really can't sing enough of its praises - just...just go, go read it. (And maybe listen to a mix of Switchfoot, Lifehouse, and Sufjan Stevens when you do. Just a thought.)

Zapped By Jesus.

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 03:43:42 GMT

Okay. So. Another update already? Crazy, I know. But, today's been a day of happenings, so I figured I'd finish it off with a post.

The morning was spent watching hilarious Jesus videos on YouTube with my dad (specifically "I Will Survive" and "Jesus Is My Friend") and drinking the hot chocolate I was craving last night. It was nice to just chill out after a long week. After that, I engaged in a personal self-confidence boost (i.e. danced around to Gaelic Storm in my bathroom sans clothing) and took a long, rejuvenating shower.

My family and I went to our usual restaurant for dinner, then to the mall with the intention of buying a jacket for myself, a belt for my brother, and a microwave for the kitchen. Well, a simple jacket-quest transformed into an all-out shopping spree with my mom. I bought three new pairs of jeans, three shirts, and a nice winter coat from PacSun, so I figure I'm pretty set for the winter. Also saw a kid from my 2D art class at both Hot Topic and PacSun. Now, I didn't really say anything to him, as we were both shopping with our moms, which I would call a pretty personal experience. Do not mistake this for mutual embarrassment to be seen with the maternal unit; I think my mom's fantastic, and most of my friends like her (to my knowledge). However, shopping with the madre is a very one-on-one thing. There is no room for interacting with passerby. (The kid is also very quiet, so I didn't want to awkwardly spring at him. I also preferred our mutual silence to the stiff glances and attempted conversations that sometimes occur when you encounter a classmate outside of school. ...He also shops at good stores, so I let him off the hook.)

More significantly, there was a cute guy at HT! I don't mean this in the "Oh my goshhh, hott punk guy at the mallzorz!" way. No. I just thought his body language was kind of adorable - for instance, the way he sort of dangled in the doorway while talking to a customer, haha. But, there WAS a guy I found attractively cute a few stores over, handing out stickers. :] We had a rather awkward exchange during which I steered in for the bait, then kind of backed away, and went back in...not sure whether I'd have to pay for them. But they were free, yay! And when I saw the stickers included a pink chicken with a hat, I snatched one up. 'Tis in my bag now.

We also stopped in GameStop. I was hoping to purchase Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility, but when I asked the girl behind the counter (another HM fan! ♥), I found out that they'd bumped back the release date AGAIN, this time to October first. Very lame. So, we left, only after I got a new copy of FFXII (to replace Philip's scratched one) and my dad got a couple of car racing games.

Upon returning home, I did my ritual 20 songs on DDR. I missed out the last couple of days, so I should probably have done extra, buuut...meh, too lazy! But yes, this is my most recent endeavor to stay active and healthy (and in the size jeans I currently wear, buh!). I've been pretty consistent with it for the - ASDJF;L MOSQUITO JUST BIT MY CHEST - past week or two.... Gah?! I thought all the mosquitoes had died out with summer, damn it. :[

Well, I wasn't able to kill it, so I'm going to run off in case it comes back for more. Sigh. Curse you, bug!

I'd Sell My Shoes.

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:26:46 GMT

Hmm. What to rant about today. :]

Well, a couple of days ago, I had a cold - probably due to running about outside during art class, with no jacket. The temperature change has been very sudden on me. Only the other week I still slept with my fan on and my window open; now, I've blocked all sources of cold and layered my bed with five blankets. In any case, I got to leave school early that day, which was a pleasant alternative to presenting a PowerPoint on traditional Iranian music through congestion, a headache, and general misery. Instead, I curled up at home, drank spicy Thai chicken soup, and slept for six hours without doing any homework for the next day. Hurrah!

Also regaining importance in my life is The Office, my perpetual source of entertainment. I never watched it much, myself, being prone to ignorance in anything television-oriented (with the exception of movies, naturally, and the occasional TotMom). Admittedly, I became an Office convert back on the band trip to Montreal last winter, but was wary of taking it up on a constant schedule due to leaving off with the second season DVD. Fortunately, The Office allows the viewer to pick up wherever and still roll across the ground in hysterics. On that note - SPOILER - Jim finally popped the question.... I'm so proud of him...! In a rain storm, no less. I thought it was a romantic in a rather tragic way. 'Twas a nice touch. Bernard and Angela, however.... I won't get into that.

Okay, end tangent. So, my recent pick-me-ups have exclusively included Ghiradelli hazelnut hot chocolate (only with hot milk!), To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens, and Scott Caan's The Dog Problem. All of these would be perfect together, if we hadn't chosen now out of all times to have no milk in stock. :[ We always have milk. When I finally desire it (which, mind, is a tremendous rarity, as I detest calcium unless it's served alongside some delicious cookies), there is none. I'm rather fond of the skin it forms, too, just like Meg (A Wrinkle In Time, anyone?). BUT SO. Just saw The Dog Problem, a rather quirky and thoughtful indie film about a depressed man who gets a dog to remedy his lack of companionship. I guess it hasn't received the best reviews, but I personally found the film hilarious. Very cute. I wouldn't call it much of a deep-thought movie, but...you really have to watch it to understand the kinship I feel toward this movie.

Anyways. Sleep. I need it. Returned from babysitting a bit before midnight...guh. Putting those kids to bed always wears me down, particularly when they don't do the going-to-bed part so much. I'm certainly in for a nice weekend of rest and relaxation, and hopefully a considerable recess of drawing. May upload some Office doodles later, heheh.

Tragic Misadventures of a Literati.

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:35:34 GMT

More exciting news from the backwaters. I have a list of points I'd love to post a little ramble on, but I'm a bit tired and a lot lazy, so I'll just hit a few items of interest for today.

This past weekend, I just finished up the second installment of Lynn Flewelling's Nightrunner series, so I thought I'd post a mini-review for Luck In the Shadows and Stalking Darkness. First off - if you haven't read the books, you really ought to look into them. Gwendol, my literary genious friend, brought Nightrunner to my attention months ago, but I was not able to obtain the first volume until a recent visit to Borders. It's not our most local bookstore, but I'd been purchasing The Arabian Nights for school, and B&N can never be counted on when one is looking for a book of any value. In any event, Flewelling's work is not the easiest to locate, so you may have to do a bit of digging. I assure you, however, that the pay-off is well worth the effort.

Be forewarned, Luck In the Shadows is not the most grammatically correct piece of published material. Depending on what type of stickler you are, if you are a stickler, the clumsily edited pages could be either a field day or a travesty - in my case, both. While it's one of my guilty pleasures to scan published work for errors, it brings me great disappointment to witness the inexcusable effort (or lack thereof) of the editors. My favorite was something about "harnessing" the horses, typed as "harrassing", which added up to complete hilarity in context.

Now, with attention to the story itself, I would not place the book at the epitome of originality in the way of fantasy. The plot involves a lowly protagonist with the "wrong place, wrong time makes way for unlikely hero" scenario (Alec), a grandfather-style mentor (Nysander), a prophecy of epic proportions, and a villain set upon creating the Weapon of Ultimate and Unspeakable Evil. However, the story follows a fairly believable pace alongside characters you grow to love, with an appetizing splash of the macabre less common in most adventure fantasy. Also, the unresolved sexual tension between main characters Alec and Seregil seizes and drags to the point of unbearable, and stays that way for quite awhile. Just a heads up. The relationship isn't the only plot device that drags, though. Our protagonists spend quite a bit of time running in circles with the same thieving jobs, riding back and forth betwixt Rhiminee and Watermeade, and droning on and on about various political movements throughout the two volumes.

I suspect that at this point, you're wondering, "Why should I even read this, then?" Time to sing some praises, I suppose. In spite of these deficiencies, Flewelling's narration cultivates a wonderful voice with which the reader can identify. The stereotypes, instead of seeming cheesy and overdone, become a comfortable old armchair to settle back upon with nostalgic love. The characters are a delight, the politics make sense (once you learn to ignore the lengthy descriptions of royal lineage and to zero in on the Plenimaran struggle), and it just becomes a swift and enjoyable read as you enter the story. It does help that, by the middle of Stalking Darkness, the reader is dying for some romantic action between Alec and Seregil. If you haven't read the books yet, imagine the crackchild of Howl (Howl's Moving Castle), Sirius Black (Harry Potter), and Vanyel Ashkevron (Magic's Pawn) pining to hook up with Raenef (Demon Diary).

On an unrelated note, I've also been perusing my copy of The Essential Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe. After puzzling over what the hell was happening in the film The House of Usher, finally reading Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher has left me with nothing but further perplexity. While I realize now that the movie has almost nothing to do with the short story, I'm still wondering WHAT that movie was about. Twincest? Rape? Failed abortion? Mutant ninjas? We'll never know. The Fall of the House of Usher was well enough on its own, though. I was expecting something more to come of "the very remarkable fact, that the stem of the Usher race, all time-honored as it was, had put forth, at no period, any enduring branch." Well, fine. There was also the whole scandal with the sister, which made little sense to me. I won't even touch upon the house cracking down the middle at the end. In spite of this mess, I am thoroughly impressed with Poe's use of the English language.... Each word seems carefully crafted to uphold the grey and sterile mood, each line a poem within itself. Nineteenth-century literature, in this way, is truly a delight to me. Poe, Dickens, and Wilde, I believe, are all masters of the craft. While each manages to keep to their own style, they apply language with such wit as has never been seen since. Nowadays, readers expect dialogues and descriptions to be handed off by the most direct means possible, with little pause for the art in the consonance, the mood, the implications of each word.

This is not to say I have no love for other styles of writing. Haruki Murakami is a wonderful creator in the straightforward simplicity of his lines, the unadulterated realism without need for flowery decor, the subtle application of symbolism. The point is, the art of language is too often mistaken for a tool or a trade. When people attempt to use words for self-expression, they dole out letters without regard for their subtler nuances. Two words may be synonymous, but I assure you, only one is appropriate for the atmosphere you seek to establish and the context in which you intend to place it.

With this in mind, I consider it a rape of all artistic language and an insult upon our literary predecessors that trash like Twilight can attain the levels of popularity that it is, while better manuscripts are left to the gutter without a publisher's slightest consideration. A tragedy, if there ever was one, but I won't waste anymore words on that topic.

One Flew Over Middlebury.

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:07:53 GMT

YES. YES. YES.

You may (or may not) be interested to know that this journal will also be a dedicated blog to the ongoings of Muggle Quidditch, particularly in the New England area, though I'll mention high schools nationwide from time to time. Depending on the response I get from Intercollegiate Quidditch Commissioner Alex Benepe, I may or may not become the National High School Quidditch Commissioner, which would be sweet beans. I'm quite psyched. However, this is not what I'm addressing today.

This year, the Intercollegiate Quidditch Association's World Cup (also henceforth known as the Middlebury Cup, the Midd Cup, or the National College Cup) is being held on October twenty-sixth, and Middlebury's teams will be competing to represent their school the day before. Naturally, it was one of those times I said to myself, "SWEET. I'll watch all the vids on YouTube afterwards and live vicariously through the cameraman!" When the possibility that I could be assuming an important role in the Quidditch community arose, however, I realized I would have to put some back into getting myself there. At the very least, I ought to ask my parents if they'd like to visit Vermont for a weekend in October, keeping in mind that my request would probably be shunted aside immediately.

The first time I asked, my predictions were quite accurate. With just the slightest poking, however, I hit gold. "Are there any good inns in Middlebury?" my mom asked this evening. At last! Just what I'd been hoping against all hope for! The merest sliver of a sliver of a chance! As fortune has it, the first page of a Google search revealed three respectable-looking inns of the Middlebury area. This is extremely exciting for me, and my fingers are crossed that I may be given the opportunity to witness teams from around the area compete for the glorious Cup, as well as meet the coordinator in person. Wow.

So, yes. Wow. Can't even begin to describe how excited I am to have this teeny chance to attend the Midd Cup! With the Chudley Cannons in mind: "Let's all just cross our fingers and hope for the best."

...Though "we shall conquer" would sound a bit more optimistic, I suppose!

Other upcoming Quidditch events, on a more local scale: first Quidditch Party of the year, first fall intramurals.

Our Dog Ate the Bagles.

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:05:21 GMT

Hey, LJ.

I'm not new to the site - I just created this new account, as a sort of cleansing ritual. That is, so I can kick my wangsty pre-teen tripe through the box-and-closet deal. This page isn't anything exciting, either. In fact, updates will be sporadic and worthless. Buuut, I thought it might be nice to pick up some blogging habits again, partially to track my growth (if any can be expected). I just got through adding some friends from my previous account and re-joining the groups I want to creepily stalk for the rest of their active lifespans.

This username? Nothing special. It's a bit of my trip from my lame-butt Japanophile pseudonym. "Kairo" is the actual username I've been adopting lately, as it's derived from a combination of my first and last names. I don't care if you pronounce it "KAY-ROW" or "KI-ROW" or "KIARIIOAJFKJ: H"; I don't have to listen to you think it in your head, so it isn't important. The "linenfrom" bit was just an arbitrary, spontaneous attachment, a direct result of "kairo" being taken already. I think I can live with it for awhile, though.

Ehh, enough of the space cadet time capsule intro stuff. I'll try to check in at least once a week with minimum emo, tooth decay, animu content. There will probably be some art kadoodles, blabbery fanfiction, yucky teen poetry, Harvest Moon rants [hey, my wife just had a baby, by the way!], and. Erm. Planning for my snake and college. And yes, our resident spaztoid Cosmo the Australian Shepard ate the cinnamon-raison bagles my parents foolishly left on the kitchen counter. Indeed.

Good night!